Protect What's Yours
by XlegacyX
Summary: Billy Darley slaughtered her family. She will have to get close enough to him to get her revenge, but she knows nothing about his world. When he takes her in she discovers things she couldn't dream were his reality.  smut likely :
1. Coming Back

Ok, so this is only my second fanfiction ever and it is drastically different then my first. I hope it is enjoyable. Please read and review if youd like. Critism is always helpful :)

This takes place not too long after Billy and his Gang broke in and killed the Hume family, causing Nick and Luke to go into the hospital. I have added a daughter to the family that was off in college but has no come home to the disaster. Then again i am sure you will gather that from reading. Anyway, hope you like the concept. :)

* * *

All around town, threats of gang activity hung in the air. Thankfully, the threats were easily looked past if you lived in the comfortability of suburbia. Rumors of Billy Darley and his followers were ignored by those who never moved in the same circle. He was as invisible to most families because his threat was always minimal and always taken out on people that higher class never cared to remember. But his tyranny became all too public on this side of town when his gang murdered Nick Hume's eldest son as an initiation killing for his younger brother. It wasn't until Nick Hume decided he wanted revenge on the son of bitch that killed Brendan that Billy decided to unleash his true rage. The day that my dad killed Billy's brother was the day he signed a death sentence for my family. That's what Billy told him, and then he capitalized on his promise. He broke into our house; he shot them all.

Except for me.

I am the daughter Billy Darley knew nothing about. I am the daughter that was off in college. I am the daughter that has to carry on the legacy of an entire family that was supposed to be pushed from existence.

I'd sit in the hospital and spend time bouncing back and forth between my father and brother's rooms, hoping that one day one of them will stir even just a little. So far, two weeks later, nothing's happened. I left today more negative than I had in a long time. No progress had been made with either of the remaining members of my family.

I drove back to the house I'd left a little over three years ago, and prayed that the tears that never seemed to run out wouldn't cloud my vision. The whole way I tried to stay away from thoughts about how much I hated the man who caused all this to happen. At the hospital I listened to whispers about how my dad was the reason and deserved to stay in his unconscious state till his heart stopped. That wasn't what he deserved though. Billy Darley is the one who deserved to be six feet under. I hated him more than words could ever express. I knew this was wrong because my mom had taught me better than this but it didn't stop my chest from filling with rage. If I were going to ever feel whole again I'd have to forgive the monster but even considering that was like acid melting away my nerves. It might happen one day, but at my current state of being it would not be anytime soon.

I parked in the drive way and cut across the lawn to the door still wrapped in yellow the police tape I'd never taken down, figuring it would keep unwanted sympathizers away. I unlocked it and stepped inside. The stairs were still in disarray from when the break in initially happened. I tried to picture what would cause the rails to be knocked completely off but came up empty. I walked into the family room where the outlines of my family's bodies and the blood still lay stained in the carpet. My heart burned at the sight. The tears I'd been fighting crept to the top of my lids and boiled over as I sank unsteadily to my knees gasping helplessly for air. I'd been waiting for the numbness to take over since I first got the call. It never came. There was nothing to ease the pain; not even the sweetness of no feeling at all. I'd waited, begged, and wished for it to give me some sort of release but it never came.

I remembered it clearly, starting back when Brendan was killed and I'd come home for a few days. I saw how it reduced my whole family to nothing more than a weeping puddle but what I failed to see was my father's raging need for vengeance. I knew it stemmed from the trial going wrong but I was never clued into the details. I never thought he would have resorted to killing someone. Then again if this is how he felt at the time I wasn't so sure I could blame him.

I had gone back to Oklahoma thinking that with time all the wounds would be healed and I could bury my head in my studies. Had I known I was terribly mistaken I probably would have never left.

I had been sitting in my Polly Sci class when our professor's phone rang. While he was distracted the whole class was talking amongst themselves. He called my name and I looked up at his pained expression.

"Yes?"

"The dean would like to see you."

I shoved my binder into my bag and took off. My chest was filled with air I couldn't let go of even though it was choking me. The last time I'd gotten called to the dean was Brendan. My body had begun to shake uncontrollably with fear. If something else had happened, I thought at the time, I'd never make it. Maybe he just wanted to see how I was doing – I'd tried to reason in a feeble attempt to squelch the fear. Man, how I wished it were true.

Then I found out it was not just one more of my family, but everyone; so no matter how badly I wanted to give up I couldn't any more. I had to uphold their memory.

I shook myself back to reality and stood up. I couldn't allow myself to fall to pieces again. I had to do something.

Anything.

I turned around and was startled by a tall black woman with her hair neatly tied in a bun.

"Oh, Detective Wallis, you scared me."

"I am sorry, McKenzie, I rang the bell but I guess you didn't hear it. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I saw your car out front."

"I," I searched for the words, "I'm ok."

She studied my lifeless expression for a long time before continuing. It looked as though she was contemplating a subject she'd decided to drop.

"I heard there's been nothing new with your father and brother. Have the doctors said anything?"

"No, not lately."

"Alright, if you need anything, be sure to call me."

"What was it you came here for?"

"What do you mean?"

"You had something you wanted to talk to about, what was it?" I demanded.

"I don't think it is the most appropriate time," she consented.

"Detective, I don't think there will ever be an appropriate time, so might as well ask now."

She sighed and gave in. "I was going to ask about your father and what you wanted to about his current situation."

"How do you mean?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"He hasn't admitted anything yet but I am afraid that he may have to own up to some of the things he did to cause this." She motioned around the room and finally letting her hand point toward some blood.

I knew she was right but it didn't stop me from angrily defending him. "He caused this all to happen? He caused some psychotic gangster to lash out at him? He caused them to break into an unsecured house, one that YOU said would be protected and kill my family? HE caused your men not to be smart enough to make them leave? Please tell me how all of these factors can be placed on his shoulders. I would love to understand your logic."

"McKenzie, that isn't how I meant it."

"How else can you have meant it? Look, I know that everyone thinks that he killed the asshole that murdered Brendan, but is there any solid evidence? How does anyone know it was him? I mean that guy was a gangster too, right? A guy that could have pissed off anyone! Anyone could have killed him! Yet, my father gets every ounce of that blame. The problem is no one really knows for sure, do they?" The anger I was displaying hid the fact that I knew for a certainty, just as much as she did, that it was in fact, my father that killed Joe Darley.

"There's nothing significant just yet but your dad has already skated around the fact that he did. I am sorry. I know that is hard on you right now, but like you said, you needed to know. I just want you to know that the investigation isn't going to simply disappear, so he can't hide from it. I will do my best to continue it, unbiased, but the evidence will be there.

"Yes, I understand." I shuffled my feet uncomfortably knowing that if he admitted to it, his life would be no better than it was at this very second.

"Just as long as you do," She said. "I am sorry to add that stress."

"Yeah, you keep saying that." I snapped, instantly feeling bad for being so harsh with her.

She nodded and headed out the door.

I stood there a few moments longer before running up the stairs into my parent's bedroom. I collapsed onto their bed and buried my face into their pillows. I took a deep breath and took in the faint scent of my mom's shampoo. I hugged a pillow tight and allowed unconsciousness to take over.

* * *

I woke the next morning to the shrill of the telephone ringing next to the bed. I reached for the receiver.

"Hello," my sleep clogged voice mumbled.

"Miss Hume, its Doctor Marshall. I just thought you should know your brother has started moving."

"I'm on my way." I said slamming the receiver back onto the cradle. I was still clothed from the night before and I was sure that my long dark hair was a mess but I didn't care. I threw on my shoes and was out the door.

I sped through town not worrying about who saw. When I arrived at the hospital I didn't think twice about stopping at the check in desk but kept running back to his room. I smacked into several nurses who complained and begged me to slow down but I ignored them. I reached his room and pushed past the small crowd that assembled at the door.

"Luke!" I cried as I saw his eyes slightly open. "Luke! Oh my God! It's me, Kenz. Look at me buddy, please."

His eyes fluttered upward and around until they landed on my face. He was confused for a moment but once I saw the recognition kick his brain into gear I breathed in the relief.

"Sis, is, is that you?" His voice was the awkward in between a whisper and a croak.

"Yes, buddy, it's me! Are you ok?" My hands stroked his face softly not wanting to put too much pressure on his bruises.

"Uh, where am I?"

"Lukey, you're in the hospital, bud. What do you remember?"

"I was in bed, and then there were these… guys and, and then…." Luke gasped for air. His throat seemed so constricted.

"It's ok, if you don't want to talk about this now if you don't have to."

"They shot me, Kenz!"

"I know, sweetheart, I know. Don't worry, you're safe now." I said leaning down to hug him awkwardly.

When I looked back at him, his eyes were filled with moisture.

"Where's everybody else? Are they…" His throat made the croaking sound again and he stopped.

"Dad's down the hall, he hasn't woken up yet." I explained.

"And mom?" he whispered.

I shook my head and felt the lump begin kneading its way up my throat. I tried to swallow it. I had to be strong for Luke.

"No… No… Why?" His whispered pain was worse than if he had spoken aloud.

"I don't know, honey. I don't know." I was whispering too.

"We never did anything to him."

"Luke, do you remember what he looked like?"

"It was dark, I can't be sure. I remember the tattoos. They were on his neck. He was bald. His eyes were, um, just… I don't know. That was it."

"That's ok, it's at least something. I mean with the shot to the head, your memory should be gone. I need to talk to your doctor." I said nodding my head in his direction where he stood talking to a nurse.

"Ok."

"I won't be far, alright?"

He nodded once and laid his head back on the pillow closing his eyes.

"Doc," I said motioning for him to come over to the door with me. When he joined me I spoke. "What happened? Is he alright? What is the damage?"

"I don't know yet. He seems to be reacting fine. His memory doesn't seem seriously impacted. That much I wasn't expecting. He must have gotten lucky. I won't know more till later. We are going to run some tests on him and see what they can come up with. This is miraculous to say the least."

I took in a deep breath. "If his memory is back now will it stay? I mean he won't just stop remembering after we leave or anything will he?"

"I don't know for sure, Miss Hume. Only time will tell, but we aren't going to release him for another day or two."

"Of course, I know that. I am just asking for future reference."

"Right, well the sooner we run the tests, the sooner we will have answers."

I nodded then looked back to my battered younger brother. "Luke, I have to go but I will be back later ok?"

"Alright. Where are you going?"

"I just have a few errands to run while the doctors take a closer look at your head."

"Is dad going to be ok?"

"I am not sure, but we will know soon hopefully."

I gave him another light embrace not wanting to rock him too much.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Kenz."

I turned quickly and walked back out to my car thanking God that he was ok. I felt a prickle of something I'd lost what seemed like too long ago.

Hope.

Then again, I knew that if _he_ caught wind of his miraculous healing there would be more bloodshed. But then, the police did have a warrant out for his immediate arrest. Though there would be no guarantee they'd get to him first, seeing how incompetent they were on protecting my family the first go round.

I figured it might be up to me to take Darley out first. I was taken aback quickly at the thought of how easily I'd considered killing another human. Course, it was for the sake of my little brother's life. I knew I couldn't use that as a crutch but the more I thought about it the more I knew that it was going to be the only way to ensure his safety and I'd be damned before anything ever happened to him again because of this jerk.

* * *

During the three days it took to release my brother from the hospital, I balanced my time with Luke and the other half finding out what I could about Billy Darley. Sadly, my search had landed me with almost nothing. I pulled a few strings with a college friend of mine that TA-ed for the law department at OU and asked if he could do some digging. It wouldn't be the first time he was asked to do research for other lawyers in different states so I figured he could pass it off as another job. Plus he owed me anyway. So far though, he hadn't gotten back to me. I'd discovered were articles written about his possible involvement with the death of my brother and even one on the 'slaughter of my family', but the rest was related to his brother's death and drug related crimes. There was no mother mentioned but in one of the spreads there was mention of a 'Bones Darley bailing him out for the last time.' I assumed this was another brother but it could have very well been his father for all I knew. I don't know what I expected when I'd begun my search but I did wish I'd come with more.

His followers were also mentioned a couple times but nothing about their names or locations. I started to wonder about how I was even going to find him.

That's when Jesse called me back. He'd found a possible address but once he'd run down the location he said it was an abandoned church on the other side of town. He found out that Billy liked to hang out at this local bar near the church called Four Roses. I thanked him and decided that would be added to the list of places to check out.

When I arrived at the hospital to get Luke, I was met with a significant bill and a delirious younger brother. I was given a large orange bottle filled with pain medication and a list of things to do for him.

"He obviously has a severe concussion so be sure to check on him when he is sleeping just to make sure that he seems alright. He needs to take the medication four times a day no less than five hours in between. I want him to come back in about two weeks from now so I can scan again and see if there is any improvements."

"What exactly is wrong with his head now?"

"Well, there were dark spots on the scan that show us trauma to his pallium, which affects his spatial memory, which will in turn will affect how he functions in certain environments. His body's neurotransmitters in that area of his brain aren't completely dead but he may not realize when he shouldn't be somewhere that is too cold or too hot. His temperature and diseases that stem from too much exposure could be very detrimental. So keep a close eye on him. I don't want Luke involved with any sports for another two months or so. Don't let him rock too much and watch his head. You don't want it smack into anything because that could cause more damage in other areas. He shouldn't move too fast. If he gets headaches too frequently I want you to bring him back, alright?"

I nodded writing down as much as I could and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you so much for your help."

"Of course, I will call if anything new turns up about your father."

I nodded again and steered Luke out of the hospital and into the dreary day.

The drive home was filled with a loaded silence that I was unsure how to fix. Lucas hadn't been home since the accident, so I wanted this to be easy on him. I knew that was too much to ask for though. Everything was cleaned out of rug and most of the staircase had been replaced but simply shoving dirt underneath the carpet wouldn't be enough to hide the truth.

Lucas stepped out of the car before I'd even turned it off. He was rapidly walking toward the door and I knew he wanted to see if there was still evidence of the night.

"Luke! Not too fast ok? The doctor said you have to take it easy."

He looked at me for less than a second then continued his trek inside.

I grabbed his bag out of the back and followed after; wanting to be there to catch him should he fall.

He looked around the room before walking into the scene of his nightmare.

His eyes landed on the spot where our mom had been shot, and he watched an invisible movie in his mind.

"Luke," I said putting my hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged me off before bolting out of the room and up the stairs. I followed after him slowly and found him in our parent's room in the same position I'd donned the night before he woke up.

"Lukey, you gotta talk to me. I want to help you." I said pulling his smaller frame into my arms.

He hugged me back for a long time saying nothing. "Kenz, you wouldn't understand. You just weren't here. I don't… Mom…"

I felt the tears he allowed to fall without a sound. They began soaking into my shirt. "It wasn't your fault you know."

"I know but I just… I want to go back and find a way to save them."

"Luke, do you want to tell me what happened?" I knew that it was better to get this question out of the way sooner rather than later.

"We got escorted home from school that day by the police. Dad came home and he was frantic. I didn't know why. They never told me. I just remember I had to go to bed earlier than usual. It was ok because I was tired anyway, but then I woke up when I hit the ground. At first I thought it was because I rolled out of bed but then there was this guy; he was huge; standing above me. He was shouting, and kicking me. He picked me up and threw me out of the door. Then he grabbed at my shirt and yanked me down the stairs. He threw me into the living room. I looked up at the biggest guy and he…" Luke took a deep breath trying to steady himself. I tried to see his face but he kept it hidden in my shoulder. "He was angry; with these piercing eyes that just shot straight into your soul. He didn't look at me for more than a second but it was long enough for me to realize that he wanted to kill me. There was…" His breathing accelerated again and I squeezed him closer. "Nothing, but like, I don't know sadistic glee. It was the most horrifying thing I think I've ever seen. So I looked to mom begging her for help. I don't know why I did. It was, stupid. I knew she couldn't. But I did and then I heard a crack and everything was black." He leaned up to look at me then. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. It was so fast. She had my hand." The tears were running like a tap down his face and no matter how hard I wished to hide mine I knew they'd turned on free fall too.

I held him close to me unsure of how I was supposed to comfort him. There was nothing and I knew it. My mind sped recklessly for something to soothe him anyway just because I knew that was what I should have done. We stayed like that for a long time; crying and holding onto the other. Who knew when our dad was going to wake up, or if he ever would? For now, I was all Luke had left. He was all that was left for me. All the little pieces that were falling had finally shattered. The shards of the family were too far gone to try and put back together. But I decided that as soon as I carried out my plan, Luke and I would find a way to put it all back together.

* * *

The next morning I woke up early intent on learning more about Billy Darley but I wasn't sure where I could go from what I had gathered. I didn't want to look into the church and it was far too early for the bad. It was only harder now that Luke was going to be at home and still a week away from going back to school.

I wasn't sure if it was due to pure, sick curiosity or if I thought it would really help; I decided to look into the spot where Brendan was murdered. It was a run down gas station in the middle of down town. The windows were still partially boarded up and the caution tape was reduced to shreds on the windows. I tried to peer through an uncovered window but I couldn't see anything other than grime on the floor and things thrown to the ground. It looked as though no one had even thought twice about this place since the event.

Dark stains were still visible on the counter from where I assume the attendant that night was shot.

I turned around instantly wishing I hadn't come here. It was overwhelming and I was beginning to wonder if the dark obsession with trying to piece together the last moments for my family was my only motivation.

I had to pull myself from my musings because I had almost missed the large man that I'd almost smacked into.

"Oh, excuse me," I said trying to move around the stranger but in stead he placed himself in my path.

"What's a pretty girl like you doin round a place like this?" He taunted, moving a stray piece of my hair behind my ear, then running it down till his hand gripped my shoulder. His voice made my skin feel like it was being run along a cheese grater.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't know you. Please take your hand off of me."

His brown eyes looked deep into my green ones. Then they raked themselves over my body, taking in my slender form. His hand slid downward almost connecting with my chest but I shook it off.

"Don't touch me." I said straightening my spine and narrowing my eyes.

"What you think just because you some rich bitch you can come round here n' command anyone round?" He growled.

"Our social status has nothing to do with your lack of respect for my personal space." I retorted trying to keep the pride out of my voice.

"You dumb bitch! You don't talk to me bout respect!" He said backhanding me.

I held my hand up to my mouth as I felt the blood pour out of lip.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I cried.

"Round here bitches don't tell any man what to do. They don't talk like you to a man eitha." He said towering over me.

He raised his hand again but I cowered. Before I'd really given myself permission to react my foot was connecting with his crotch and I hit the concrete at a full sprint. I was so thankful I'd left my purse under the seat in my car so I wasn't carrying anything, but I was regretting leaving it more than two blocks away.

My chest began screaming for air but I didn't stop running. When I caught sight of my silver Mazda less than fifty feet away, I slowed to walk allowing the air to saturate my lungs again. After a shot like that, no guy would be able to catch up anyway. That's what I thought before I was hit from behind. I feel to my hands and knees, hearing the rip in my jeans and the cuts that were sure to be bleeding in a second.

"Bitch, you don't know nothing bout livin' out here." I turned over to see the smile creep onto his face. I started backing away crab style but his arm shot out and grabbed at my ankle drawing me close to him again. "Hitting like a scared little girl don't do nothin for you." His tanned arm shot out and his hand closed around a chunk of my hair. The intricate tribal tattoos on his arms screamed danger and his eyes burned with power. He pulled backwards causing my face to shoot upward. I screamed in pain. He began lowering himself toward me. I lashed out with everything in me; kicking, scratching, clawing. I kept screaming at full volume but I heard no one coming to my rescue. Is that how people reacted these days? No one cared about the fact there was a man attacking me in broad daylight. Finally, both of my feet connected with his chest and I shoved upward with all my might. His body shot up off of mine, and he fell backward onto his ass. I crawled forward, my nails colliding with concrete. I hauled myself upward and took off running again. I glanced over my shoulder to see him not far behind me.

I pushed forward rounding corners here and there hoping to lose him but nothing ever seemed good enough. I turned blindly into an ally only to pray it wasn't a dead end. I was passing a small street to my right but then was pulled sideways by a strong arm. It slammed me against the brick siding then covered me with his body. I heard my assailant run past but refused to pull my face away from the strong chest that helped hide me from sight.

"He's gone." A deep voice stated.

I pulled my tear stained face out of his black shirt realizing that I'd been sobbing into it and looked up to his face. The first thing that stood out was the deep blue iris' staring back at me. They were depthless yet slightly red rimmed, hinting at a past high or a current hang over. Both wouldn't have surprised me. The red only seemed to accent the blue. Next was the scar on his straight nose that distracted from his pretty yet rough face. His bald head was pale after what looked like a recent shave. There were a few other scars dug into his cheeks and neck. But it was the tattoos on his neck that led me to realize who my savior was.

I did my best not to panic but I could feel the fear squeezing my lungs. The air flow started coming faster and faster.

"Hey, hey! Chill out! He is gone." He said again.

I retracted the fistfuls of shirt I grabbed hold of and flattened myself against the bricks to put as much space between me and him as possible.

His eyes flared as he caught on to my objective. "Wow, I go all out of my way to save your ass n you get all fuckin snooty on me. That will be the last fuckin time that shit ever happens. Jesus, you think you're doin a damn good deed."

My nostrils flared, my eyes bulged as my breathing kept up its frantic pace. I fought through it in order to respond. "I'm sorry you confused fear with attitude. I am not sure if you realize but I was just beaten up and I am sure almost raped! How do you expect me to react?" I figured that was close enough to a realistic reaction.

"I don't know if you realized, but you weren't. No need to freak the fuck out."

"You wouldn't understand." I muttered and tried to move past him.

He didn't budge. He was too big to move myself so I just stared up into his eyes. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Want somethin?"

"Yes, you to move out of my way, that way I can get back to my car."

"Say please." He teased.

I clenched my jaw wishing that I could rip his heart out right then and there.

"Please." It was said through my teeth.

His expression remained amused as I pushed off the wall and I walked out of the crevice he'd been hiding me in.

I stumbled the first couple of steps, realizing my knees had blood caked on them but he was there to catch my fall. He pulled me upright again and I leaned on his strong frame.

"Shit," I mumbled.

He laughed.

"What?"

"The Ritchie cursed. It just doesn't sound right."

"Whatever."

Once I righted myself I tried to detach from him again but he didn't let me.

"Please let me go." I begged.

"Where are you parked?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Cuz I wanna help you get there without you getting yourself killed."

"Why are you helping me anyway?"

"For one, I hate that asshole. For two, you're cute. For three, am I not allowed to be a good citizen?"

I had a hard time deciphering if he was serious or not but I shrugged it off. Whether he saved me or not, he was still a sick son of bitch.

"State, and fifth." I said trying to pull my own weight.

He had my arm strung around his neck but he was so tall I was surprised my feet were even still slightly dragging on the ground.

"I think I can walk myself," I hoped I was convincing.

He let go of me but stayed by my side. I was surprised when he walked my pace instead of bounding away.

"So you said you hated that guy?" I asked not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, he's a prick. He runs with some bastards down south. They don't usually fuck around up here. When they decide to venture up here I make it my business to see what shit they are getting into."

"So you saw what was happening?"

"Most of it."

"Why didn't you step in five minutes ago?" I stopped suddenly and whipped around to face him.

"You looked like you were doin fine."

"He was beating me up! I looked like I was doing fine? Are you crazy?"

"Debatable."

I made a disgusted noise before turning and marching as fast as I could manage ahead. His long stride helped him keep up easily.

I made it to my car finally and didn't even pause to say goodbye. I shoved the key in the lock and moved to open the door. My conscience got the better of me and I faced him before getting in.

"Thank you for saving me. Even if it was, after, well you get it. Thank you."

He smiled. If it weren't for the fact that I hated this man so much I might have actually been attracted to him. Shit, I screamed at myself. This is the bastard that… that… I didn't finish the thought for fear he'd figure it out.

"Your welcome. Sorry I waited." He didn't seem too genuine but it was at least something I thought. "I'm Billy by the way."

"Nice to meet you. Thanks again." I said getting in.

"You don't got a name?"

I stared at him thinking about my options. I didn't want to seem rude but at the same time I didn't want him knowing anything about me.

His smile became tight, nervous almost.

Then it hit me. I knew exactly how I was going to take this man out. It was the perfect plan.

"I'm McKenzie."

* * *

Hope that was enjoyable. Feel free to review


	2. Meeting UP

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! I appreciate it so much! SO he goes chapter two, please enjoy and well REVIEW! :)

* * *

I hoped that he would disappear from sight before I had to drive away in order to give me time to at least regain some semblance of a calm state but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I sat there a couple minutes after closing the door and clenched the wheel tightly, regulating my breaths. When I turned to look at his retreating back I realized he had not even moved an inch away from where I left him. Our eyes locked and I wondered at why he was still there. I knew a man like him was in demand for whatever other mischief he liked to delve into.

He took three giant steps forward and tapped on my window. I hit the switch next to the handle and powered it downward but only half way. You couldn't be too careful, a lesson that I would not soon forget.

"You gonna leave before getting yourself into more trouble?"

"Yes, pardon me for trying to get my bearings before heading out into traffic."

"Alright, Ritchie, maybe you could show a little more gratitude since I did just save your sweet ass."

I glared hoping it seared his soul. Then again how was I to know there was even a soul to burn? "And, I believe I thanked you didn't I?"

He pursed his lips, thoughtful for a moment. "You did, but you didn't exactly seem all too grateful. Hows about you give me a little payment for my time?" By this time he was leaning down into my open window and my finger twitched, fighting the urge to roll the window up before he could come any closer. I knew that would do nothing to get me closer to my goal. This didn't distract from the fact that his proximity was completely unnerving. I fought to keep up the façade it was simply because of his reputation, actions and pure intimidating presence, rather than his oddly attractive features.

I eyed him skeptically. "Depends on what you had in mind."

"Dinner with me."

My eyes widened; I had not expected him to aid my plan so quickly; eagerly almost. "Am I buying? You know, to pay you for your time?"

"Nah, that wouldn't be very, oh whas the word?" He snapped his fingers while he thought.

"Gentlemanly?" I threw out; disgusted the word was so foreign to him.

"Yeah, that'd be it."

I nodded.

"Time for time? Sound good?"

"Sure," My tone was humorless.

"Ah, c'mon don't look so excited." He said staring deep into my eyes. I couldn't tell which was winning the battle for the dominate emotion on his face: anger or hurt. Then again I was sitting here talking to Billy Darley. There was no way in hell this clown was hurt, let alone going to show it. Must have been a damper being needled into his monumentous ego.

I nodded once and put the car into gear. "When?"

"You free tonight?"

I thought for a moment; I didn't have any plans but Lukey was at the top of things to consider. "No, I am sorry but I don't think tonight will work for me."

"Then when will? I mean if you really don't wanna we can just say fuck the whole idea now." He said holding his hands up in surrender.

"No, no, it's fine, I just had some family come home for the month, so I can't get away all the time, especially at night. How about next Monday?" I was grasping at straws now, knowing that this was my chance to try and get closer to him. It would not be here much longer if I didn't allow him the thought that I was at least a tad bit interested as well.

"Sure, what time?"

"Lunch time would probably be better."

"Ok, so one thirty?"

"Great."

"Where can I pick you up?"

My heart fluttered with panic. He could not pick me up. He could not find out where I lived. But did I have an excuse that he'd believe?

"You can't." I finally admitted. Maybe I didn't need an excuse; maybe I could twist my truth around a little.

"Why not?"

"I don't know you at all. Call me crazy, but I think I might want to wait till we are better acquainted before I let you take me places." I gave him a coy smile.

"Are you implying you wanna get to know me better?" He said leaning a little closer, allowing his breath to waft through the window. I was surprised to find it was almost a sweet smell instead of a potent bitter scent.

"Maybe," I said continuing with a little more flirt in my voice. Hopefully it didn't sound terribly fake.

"Where would you like to eat?"

I cleared my throat, mentally stumbling down blind paths. I settled for shrugging as my answer. I couldn't meet with him on my side of the tracks for fear of meeting up with someone I already knew. Plus, how was I supposed to know where he could go without feeling too out of place? Wait! My stomach churned uncomfortably as I realized I was worried about where would make him happy too. I suffocated the thought before it could take away fuel for my fire.

"There's this nice lil Italian joint over on Cardinal and Union, if you'd wanna check it out?" He suggested.

"Sounds nice. I guess I'll see you Monday."

He smiled brightly for the first time giving me a small glimpse at a man that I was unsure if I believed to be real. Billy Darley in that small moment looked as though he might have actually been something better than a murderous beast. I returned the smile praying he couldn't see the nearly physical pain it caused me. I gave him a quick finger wave and pulled out into the street.

I kept the radio off the whole drive trying not to allow my mind to jump into its analytical mode. If I even considered for one second longer what had just transpired I would end up side swiping some innocent bastard.

When I reached my house, I shoved the car into park and turned it off. My head fell onto the steering wheel causing me to strain against the seat belt. I put down my walls and thought back to the whole scene, starting with the man who'd beaten on me, but I felt nothing towards him. No fear, no rage, absolutely nothing. Nothing, because I'd be rescued by a man who was worse than the previously mentioned. I was rescued by the one person I was actually searching for but wasn't ready to face. I tried to take deeper breaths but my gulps of air stayed shallow. My eyes were flooded and I allowed myself to cry to the wheel. The drops fell onto my cut jeans and soaked into the fresh wounds. The salt mixed with my blood and it caused me to stir. I unbuckled, wiped my eyes then made a break for the house. Once inside I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and studied the blood caked onto my lower lip. The cut was splitting it right in the middle but thankfully had begun to scab over. I tore off my shirt and pants to better examine the scrapes and cuts. They weren't bad, but that didn't stop me from rummaging around in the cupboard for hydrogen peroxide. I poured it into my palms and watched them fizz as the antibiotic did its job.

I turned the knobs on the shower creating a steamy sanctuary. I stripped off my remaining tank top and underwear and slid inside allowing the warmth to encase me in its slick comfort. Once I felt that I'd washed away all the memory of the two men from my body I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Yes?" I called grabbing up my bloody clothes searching for somewhere to stash them. I settled for underneath the sink, only shutting a second before Luke opened the door. "Oh, hi, hun. I didn't know you were awake already."

"Yeah," His eyes locked onto my lip and I bit at it self consciously. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I, uh, tripped this morning and must've busted my lip." I licked it again.

"Oh, I am sorry. You alright?"

"Fine, why?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, just thought I'd ask."

"Right, well, everything's just fine." I lied.

He nodded for a second. "Where'd you go this morning?"

"The gym."

"Cool. How was it?"

"It was great, they've, uh, done a lot with the place since I left huh?"

"I wouldn't know. That was Brendan's thing. Not really mine."

I looked to my feet. "Yeah, I remember. He was there almost everyday."

"Yup. Anyway, can I use the bathroom?"

"Oh yeah, of course." I answered ducking out of his way.

He craned his neck around to look at my knees but I quickly turned before he could get a good look.

I padded back to my parent's bedroom since I'd taken up inhabitance as if it were my own and got dressed in another pair of jeans and a small black T-shirt. I wrapped my towel around my head and headed downstairs to get breakfast started for Luke. I pulled out his medication and removed a pill from the bottle. I set it on the counter and rummaged around in the fridge coming up with eggs and orange juice. I began scrambling some after pouring us both a glass. Then I heard him thump down the stairs.

"Hungry?" I smiled.

"Yeah, I guess so." His mood wasn't nearly as fake or as chipper as mine.

I decided to leave him be while I cooked. Once they were done I topped them with cheddar I'd found stashed in a drawer from the fridge.

I slid his plate to him on the island and he stared down at it.

"You need to eat Luke, in order to take you medicine."

"I was just thinking, you make them the same as mom." His eye didn't move from the food.

"Yeah, she taught me when I was about your age."

"You know what I just realized?"

"What?"

He jabbed his thumb toward the large table. "The last time we were all here and sitting around that damn thing was when you can home for…"

"For Thanksgiving."

"And that was what, a year and a half ago?" He finally raised his eyes to meet mine.

I nodded, slowly trying to guess what his direction was.

"But you know what else? That will be the last time it ever happens. We will never sit down for a family meal ever again."

"Stop it, bud."

"We will never have an argument over nothing at that table ever again."

"Luke, you need to stop."

"We aren't ever going to sit down to mom's cooking again. She's gone. Brendan's gone. Dad, might as well be gone!"

"Damn it, cut that out."

"We are never going to be a family ever again!" He finally screeched.

"Luke! I said stop!" I raised my voice to match his but I did not add any infusion other than concern. I walked around the island and pulled him into my arms. "We are still a family Luke. It is you and me. Dad could wake up at anytime. You need to keep the faith. You have to stay positive. You can't let the grief you feel eat away at you like a vulture. Honey, you have to move past this. I know that you will never be ok with the fact that, they are…. Gone. But you can push forward because you know they wouldn't want us to stop living our lives."

He clutched my sides. "I am sorry, I just…"

"Never be sorry for sharing your feelings with me. We are depending on that honesty right now." I felt a pang of guilt as I realized I was preaching the exact opposite of what I was doing. Could anyone say hypocrite? "Now eat before they get all cold and gross," I said pulling back and lightly ruffling his hair. I was careful not to jostle him too much.

When we'd finished Luke took his pill and meandered to the front of the TV to watch mind numbing midday TV. I on the other hand washed dishes and tidied up as best I could. After I'd finished I stared at our dining room table remembering the last time we had been together. It felt like it was ten years ago. I felt tears spring up again.

I clenched my hand into a fist and slammed it onto the counter top letting out an angry huff. This had to stop.

I couldn't keep crying over every damn memory that invaded my brain. I knew that it was time to stop. I had to man up so to speak and get my shit together or there would a snowball's chance in hell of completing my mission. I could no longer be the weak, scared, little depressed girl who gave up at any reminder of what happened. Steeling myself to all of that emotion was going to be key to the next few months of my life.

I needed to turn myself into someone that was going to not only catch Billy Darley's attention but someone who was going to keep it. I needed him to trust me so completely that he would never peg me for who I really was. I needed him to allow me so deep into his world that he would never realize my motives until he was taking his last breaths. Every move I made was going to be so thought through there would be zero room for error.

* * *

The week flew by faster than I'd cared for it to. I figured that Lucas and I vedging out and spending great amounts of time with tedious activities would've been a way to slow it down, but I figure due to the fact that I was dreading what was to come Monday, it still sped at me faster than the dart trains.

I'd gone with Luke to school for the first of his class periods hoping that having a little support would comfort him. Though, he never mentioned his opinion specifically to me; I'd been left to decipher it through his actions. None of them were clear other than the fact that school was the last place on Earth he really wanted to be. Many of the guys on the hockey team made a point to come over and check on him, but they never lingered more than a minute or two. Even people who'd never bothered to talk to Luke voiced their sympathies. I wasn't sure if he was more annoyed then appreciative of the fact but it was grinding on my nerves with no hope of an end. After his first class I said goodbye and gave him a quick hug.

"If you need anything, text or call me and I will be right here."

"Got it."

"Do you have your meds?"

"Course."

"You want anything now?"

"To go home."

"Luke, you have to stay in school buddy. I am sorry but you can do it ok?"

"Yup." He grumbled before trudging off to his next class.

I sighed knowing that I really would have rather taken him home than head off to what felt like impending doom for me.

I went home and dug through my clothes trying to find something that was modest, yet enough to sustain his fancy. I decided on a pair of skin tight black jeans and a red and black plaid shirt that had three buttons across the top. I left the top two unbuttoned allowing enough of my 36 C cleavage to hang out without screaming desperation. I headed into the bathroom to tie my layered dark brown hair in a complicated twist and stuck to sticks inside making an 'x'. I allowed my bangs to fall down in front of my face. I applied the makeup that accompanied the outfit, complete with a subtle gold eye shadow with black eyeliner and masquera. I added Chap Stick over my somewhat healed lip and prayed this would be at least slightly appealing to him. I looked at clock and realized I still had about an forty five before I had to leave.

I checked my phone to see if there was a new message from Luke but found none. There was a sharp tap on the door and I jogged to go answer it.

I peaked out at my visitor.

"Hey, detective. How is it going?" I asked her.

"Fine, I was just coming by to see how things were going with you and your brother."

"We are fine. Nothing new to report other than he's returned to school today."

"How has he been acting?"

"Depressed, but what do you expect?"

"I meant, how are his injuries?"

"So far they seem to be healing nicely. His face is almost back to its usual color. The medication seems to be doing its job. There have been no severe headaches that he has voiced to me anyway."

"Great, that is good news. How about you?"

"I am doing better. Getting Luke back restored me to a more positive state I have to admit."

"Mmhmm, that's great." She paused a moment. "What happened to your mouth?"

"Oh, I just tripped on the stairs the other day. No biggie."

"Is that right?"

"Um, yes. Is there a problem that I need to know about?"

"No, Miss Hume, I was just checking."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

She nodded before turning to walk back to her car but she stopped half way down the sidewalk. "Oh, I just thought I'd mention that Billy Darley is still out there so be careful alright?"

"I remember." I responded. How could I forget? I had a damn date with the asshole in a half hour.

"Good. When we do find him, we are thinking of putting a surveillance team on him just to see if there are other things we can catch him doing. This way if he tries to wriggle out of one charge and succeeds, we can try him for something else."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "Sounds good to me."

She noticed my disinterested tone finally and faced me again fully. "Miss Hume, you wouldn't be considering anything stupid, would you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. You just have this air about you, it reminded me of someone who ended up trying to take the law in his own hands." She noted. "It didn't work out well for him so I am just asking you to stay away from thoughts like that."

"Asking or warning?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest and leaning on the side of the door.

"Both." She nodded once before turning again and heading for her car.

I watched her drive away and headed back inside, only for a moment, during which I grabbed my keys and purse from the counter.

I loaded up into my car and looked at the mini map I'd drawn to direct me to the cross streets Billy hand mentioned. I looked up and down trying to locate the restaurant and finally spotted it hidden in the corner of a busy little strip mall.

After parking I walked inside glancing at my phone clock. It was five minutes from one thirty and I hoped that he wouldn't run too late. Darley surprised me yet again by already having secured a table for the two of us. I sauntered over to him an excited smile playing my expression.

"You are just full of surprises." I said sitting down across from him.

When he looked at me his eyes lit with a hunger I hadn't seen before in my life. His eyes raked over my body as if he were drinking in every last drop I had to offer.

"Why's that?" he asked shoving his fingers together and balancing his chin atop them a smile beginning to present itself.

"I didn't think you'd even be on time, honestly. The fact that you are earlier than me and already at our table speaks volumes."

"Wow, that hurts." He joked.

"Sorry, just being honest." I said allowing my indifference to slip out accidentally.

"I'd rather you be honest," he consented. "Your lip looks a lot better." His eyes lingered there a little longer than called for and I licked the scab before biting down over my lip to hide the cut.

"Thanks."

The waiter joined us then asking what our beverage would be. I ordered a soda while he got a beer.

I raised my eyebrows at him and he shrugged. "Nothing wrong with a lil alcohol." After a slight pause he continued. "So, tell me bout yoself."

"Uh, what do you want to know?"

"How old are you?"

"Twenty two in about three weeks."

His brows shot upward, "You are younger than I thought."

I shifted in my seat. "Are you saying that I look old?" The mock in my voice was thick enough to give him the hint I was kidding. This did not stop him from correcting my direction immediately.

"Nah, it's not like that. I just got the impression you was a bit older."

"Oh, well now you know."

"Right, so you from round here?"

"Not exactly. I mean I grew up here but I left for Oklahoma State right out of high school. I am just getting back."

"What'd ya major in?" He asked leaning forward on his forearms that were balanced on the edge of the table in front of him.

"I was working on a degree in criminal justice." I said meeting his eyes boldly. His reaction was the epitome of priceless. First there was shock followed by a cocky smile.

"Were you? So is this a set up to get me locked in the can?"

"Nope, you were the one who asked me to lunch remember?"

"Actually, I asked you tah dinner. You recommended lunch." He said flashing a brilliant smile.

"Oh, you caught me. Whatever shall I do now? I hope the consequences aren't too terrible."

He laughed. "I don't know. I'd wanna take it easy on you because you're so damn cute but round here that's like committin treason. I wouldn't want my boys tah think I'm goin soft."

"We could just not tell them." I suggested after a pause. His mention of power was bold.

"You kiddin? They know all bout what I do."

"Even lunch with me?"

"Yup," he answered shaking his head up and down.

"Brave of you." I said.

"Why's that?"

"I am, oh how'd you put it?" I snapped my fingers while I thought mimicking him the day we'd met.

"A Ritchie?" He offered.

"Yeah, I can't fathom that they were just ok with that."

We paused when the waiter dropped our drinks by the table and asked for our order. I'd been so wrapped up in the conversation with Billy, I'd forgotten to even look. He gave the man his order and I scanned the menu quickly choosing the first thing that looked good. After the waiter departed we continued.

"No, they weren't happy bout it at all but I don't give a rat's ass."

"Why's that?"

"Cuz I do what I wanna do 'n if they have a problem with it they can either voice it or shut up. I will do whatever I do after listening to their input."

"Oh, what'd they say?"

"You wasn't gunna show and that I'd be wasting my fuckin time tryin to meet up wich you."

"How'd you know they were wrong?"

"I didn't."

I nodded. "Between you and me, social status doesn't really affect how I look at people."

"S'that right?"

"Yeah, I mean it's about the heart not the outer shell. That is how my mom always puts it anyway."

"She sounds like a very intelligent woman." He complimented and my eyes flashed with anger. He didn't seem to notice.

"Yes, she is."

"So you said you 'was' working on a degree in criminal justice though. Why past tense?"

"Because I had to come home unexpectedly." I answered honestly not knowing any other plausible story.

"Why?"

"Death in the family." I froze my expression in place as I felt the usual emotions start to fight their way into my chest. Showing weakness now could have been the most detrimental action I ever took.

"Shit, I am sorry, who was it?"

"My grandma." I lied before allowing too much time to slip by.

"Were you two close?"

"Very. She, uh, taught me a lot of what I know today. She taught me how to cook. I can clean a house more thoroughly than you can imagine because of this woman. I also learned what it means to be a family and how truly important that really is."

"She sounds like she was a good person."

"She was." I muttered silently cursing him.

"Shit, um, you want to talk bout somethin else? I didn't mean tah," He rubbed the back of his head regretfully.

"No, it's fine. It was going to come out sooner or later. What about you? You from here?"

"I was born and raised here, yea. My mom took off when I was little so it became me, mauh brother and dad." He said the last word with disgust.

"I take it the two of you aren't exactly close?"

His eyes flashed. "You'd be right."

I didn't like how his tone suddenly became full of dangerous implications.

"I am very sorry."

"S' fine. Tell me more about your family."

I gulped some of my drink. "Well, I am the oldest of three kids. I have two younger brothers that are a handful, but they are sweet kids," I smirked. "My father is an assistant manager of his company and my mom is a dean at my brothers' school. She loves working with teens. It's sorta a passion for her."

"What bout your dad?"

"What about him?"

"You gave a little more info bout your mom and brothas. You jus didn't throw in a lil fun fact bout him too. You and him not so close?"

"We are but he always thought I was taking too many risks with my life. 'Oklahoma's too far' or 'Why don't you get a scholarship with a sport instead of paying through college' or I don't know shit like that. I guess he never really approved of a lot of the choices I'd make."

"Wow, that fuckin sucks. I wonder what he'd think bout you sitting here wit me?" His smile was thoughtful yet a little triumphant as if I'd chosen him over my father.

I smiled back, almost sadistically. "He'd probably want to kill me for even considering."

"Ah, so I musta got lucky then."

"That you did."

Our server arrived again carrying two steaming plates. He set them down in front of us and lowered his head.

"Anything else, Mr. Darley?"

"Nah, we're good."

The waiter nodded respectfully and scurried away.

"So, you take every pretty girl you meet here?"

He chuckled. "Nah, this is where we usually make our more respectable business transactions. You are maybe the second girl I ever taken here. And I didn't even get the pleasure of takin ya."

"I am sure you can understand why though."

"Kinda," he answered taking a bite.

I followed suit and was pleasantly surprised at how good the food actually was. I chased it with a sip of Dr. Pepper.

I was about to ask Billy another question when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, and to my horror, was met with the face of a friend from high school.

"McKenzie! I thought that was you! I heard about…"

I made a face hoping to shut her up before she revealed my secret.

"Well, about what happened. I am so sorry girl. Give me some love." She said grabbing at my hands and hauling me upward out of my seat.

I squeezed her back allowing my eyes to go wide in surprise. "Jennie, hi! Oh my God! Crazy meeting you here." I said when she pulled back. "Thank you though. I am doing a bit better now."

She eyed Billy who was sitting frowning at the two of us.

"Is this your boyfriend?"

"Um, not exactly," I said as he stood up.

"We are kinda on our first date." He extended his hand. "Name's Billy, and you are?"

"Oh I am Jennifer McCready. I went to school with Kenz here." Her smile was bright as her eyes scanned his muscular body. She bit her lip with obvious approval.

"Nice to meet you." He added before sitting back down.

I turned to face her. "What are you doing over here?" I knew that I needed to get rid of her before she spoke too much as was her tendency. It didn't take much to get my old best friend talking.

"I was just picking up some food for Mark and me, you remember him don't you?"

"Of course, I am so glad to hear you are still together."

"More than that, actually," she gushed lifting her hand. There sitting cozily on her left finger was a large rock.

Billy smiled over the bite he had in his mouth as a gesture to his congrats, even though under the surface, I was sure he was excessively bored with her interruption.

"Wow! I am so happy for you!" I said giving her another quick hug. "I better not hold you up any longer though so you can get on back to him."

"No, it's totally alright." She took a seat on the side between Billy and I.

I sank to my seat too.

"Do you live round here?" Billy said shoving more food into his mouth.

I smiled at him. He didn't have to make the friendly gesture, which I am sure was hard for him under normal circumstances, yet he still had. He caught my expression and his face almost visibly lit up.

"Oh no, not at all. We live up near your old house, Kenz. But we discovered this place when we were getting a car worked on and just fell in love."

"That's great." I added.

"So how are you holding up after everything girl? Do you and Jack still keep in touch?" She winked.

I tilted my head, "I am ok. I am doing better than I was. And no, we don't talk anymore. Not for a year or two now." I said glancing in Billy's direction as a hint to shut her trap.

She looked to him before continuing. "Oh, of course. Right, I should've known. I just knew he wanted to call you after what happened."

"Oh, that's fine." I answered uncertainly. Billy had visibly frozen and he looked far from happy.

"Jennifer, was it?"

"Yes," she said beaming at him.

"I think you should go n check on your food. I am sure by now it's done." His face was still pleasant but his tone was one I imagined he used with his 'boys' when giving an order.

"Right," she scoffed as if finally getting the hint. "I just couldn't help but stop and say hi!" She stood. "Kenz, I really hope everything's getting better for you, dear. I am so glad we ran into each other." She plastered a smile onto her plastic face and reached out for another hug.

I returned it and wished her well.

When she had swished out of ear shot I turned to face Billy.

His face was blank and his eyebrows were raised high.

I smirked. "What?"

"You used tah hang out with that girl?"

I nodded. "I know. Scary thought huh?"

"Yeah." His voice was full of mock worry.

"She's not that bad, once you get past all the superficial, me me me part of her. I mean she genuinely took time to come say hi." I held my hands up in defense.

"Yeah, that's somethin I guess. Who's Jack?"

"Do I detect jealousy from the great Billy Darley?" I joked.

"Nah, nah it's not like that." He paused before smiling.

"I think I do." I laughed.

"Fine, so you got me. Who was he?"

"Oh, just this guy I sorta dated in high school. It was nothing special just uh I don't think he ever really got closure because I just up and left."

"He didn't follow you?"

"No, he refused and I wasn't going to change my plans. We weren't that serious."

"Dumb bastard." Billy remarked eyeing me again.

"Why's that?"

"Shit, I'dve been smart enough to follow you."

"Even if it meant leaving your family behind?"

"Like I said there eint much of my family left and half of it I can't fuckin stand so."

"Fair enough."

We finished out food and the waiter reappeared with the check and took our plates away. I made a grab for my purse.

"What you doin?"

"Paying my half."

"You don't have to, Ritchie, I am not broke. Like I said this is kinda our first date. Might as well make it look like one."

"Ok, ok."

I put the strap over my shoulder as he shoved a bill inside the container. We rose and made for the exit. He held the door open for me and I frowned as we past.

As we walked to the car he finally spoke, "What was that look for?"

"I don't know. The other day you couldn't even think the word 'gentleman' and now look at you. You have far exceeded your reputation."

He smiled. "Just because you hear something bout me doesn't always make it true. That's why they called rumors in the first place."

We'd arrived at my car and I beeped in unlocked.

"I guess I will have to keep that in mind."

"So now that you've gotten to know me a lil betta do I get your number at least?"

I smiled. "Maybe."

I pulled a pen out of my bag after digging in it a few moments.

I took his hand in mine and spread his fingers out so I could write on his palm. I marveled at how large his hands were as I wrote down my cell phone. I couldn't have Luke answering the phone if he called.

I took a step back to look up to at him again but he used the hand I'd written on to slide up my neck to the back of my head. Before I knew it my mouth had met his. He kissed me softly before pulling back.

I stared up into his brilliant eyes, shocked.

"I hope that was, ok?" He said suddenly looking unsure.

"No, that was, just fine." I smiled for once allowing it to actually reach my eyes.

"I'll call you," He said before his eyes fixed on something just over my shoulder. They went dead and he shoved around me heading toward some unknown object.

I got into my car and drove home thinking back constantly to how nice the monster had actually been to me. I shook my head violently. No! It's all an act. He cannot get to you. He shot your youngest brother, put your father in a coma, aided in the murder of your middle brother and pulled the trigger on your mother. There was nothing good about this man.

Nothing.


	3. Whirl Wind

Thank you so much to all of those who are keeping up with this story! I appreciate it very much. I hope you like this next installment and I apologize for the amount of time it has taken to post it.

As always enjoy. Please Review I love to hear feedback! :)

* * *

When I arrived back home, I rushed inside and clutched onto the railing for support. My mind was a whirl wind of anger, disgust, and self loathing. It had only been one 'date', and already I considered liking the man. I had allowed myself to feel the slightest bit a monster. I had allowed my emotional purge to get the best of me. Allowed myself to be weak.

"No. I can do this." I straightened my spine and let go of the railing. I could stand on my own two feet because that's all there was for me now. I couldn't lean on anyone else. This burden was mine to bear and I'd be damned if I was going to fail. The only thing that already had me worrying was that I was only at the beginning of journey. There was still so much more I had to do. A life that still had to be taken.

Although, I consented, I'd at least done well enough to convince Billy I was interested in him; enough so that he'd even asked for my number. This meant I was getting somewhere, so there was no reason to be too hard on myself. If I hadn't felt anything, I highly doubt he'd actually want to see me again. I figured as long as I allowed him to see those reactions, he'd never have the foresight to see through my façade. Yes, I justified to myself. It was ok to let go of the hurt and anger when he is around so he'd never be able to see the burning hatred that had formed a protective seal over my heart.

I shoved the thought away that it could have actually been his presence alone that made me feel… desired, safe even.

No, it couldn't have been that. I had been around him for a total of what three hours? It wasn't that. It would never be that.

I walked into the kitchen and found Luke sitting at the table a book in front of his nose. Even though his face was angled downward I could still see his eyes were closed. Laughing aloud I moved to wake him up.

"Buddy," I shook his shoulder.

His head fell forward and he jerked up quickly in response. His terrified eyes found mine.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just… I was just…"

"Luke, what happened?" My frown deepened.

"I," He shook his head before running his fingers through his hair, "I just had a bad dream."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry." I gave him a hug and felt his arms limply pull me closer. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He took a shaky breath. "Hey, where were you today? I figured you'd be here when I got back."

My eyes widened and I was thankful for my face being hidden from his sight.

"I, uh, had some errands to run. I made a stop by to see dad. He seems to be getting stronger so I guess that's an upside to everything." I explained hoping he couldn't see right through my bluff.

"Good!" His voice was filled with so much faith, I quickly felt guilty. "Hey, Kenz, do you think that there might a way we can go see him soon. I really want to visit again."

"Of course, bud, of course." After a minute I pulled back and smiled at him. "You want me to order pizza?"

He grinned back, "Yeah."

* * *

That night after Luke took his pill he headed up to bed early. I set a reminder on my phone to check on him at eleven, as was part of my routine. I put the phone on the table and decided to get out my dad's laptop. I'd asked a few of my teachers to send me work via email, and it was getting close to two weeks since the last time I checked it. This knotted my stomach as I was sure my teacher's would have been expecting some sort of response, no matter my reason for leaving.

My phone buzzed and I checked the clock on the computer seeing it was only a quarter past ten so I decided to ignore it choosing to finish a ten page paper that was already two days past due for my Head of States Government class. Usually Mr. Eckland was pretty laid back but I decided not to push my luck too far.

I sent my final draft by eleven thirty figuring that Luke would have been alright even if I waited a half hour longer. After saving a copy of everything, I shut down the laptop and went around checking the doors. Once I was sure everything was secure, I shut off the lights and used my phone as a flashlight to get up the stairs.

I made my rounds, checking on Luke only to watch him toss and turn helplessly in bed. I ran to his side and shook him awake.

"Luke!"

His eyes opened slightly as he shot straight up. "No! Mom!" His voice echoed in the silent room.

"Lukey, Lukey! Look at me!" I grabbed his face between my hands and forced him to look into my eyes.

"Kenz?"

"Yeah, bud, I am here. What's going on with you?"

"It was just, another nightmare, I guess." Luke answered shrugging me off.

"Are they happening a lot?"

"No," He lied looking to his hands.

"How often?"

"It's nothing, Kenz. Go away." He rolled over and gripped a pillow close to his chest.

"It's obviously not nothing, Luke. You can talk to me about this."

"No, I can't. Can you _please_ leave me alone?"

I stood, before turning walking toward the door. "If you want to tell me, I can probably help you."

"No, you can't. Don't you try and pretend like you know what I am going through. You weren't here, remember?"

"I know I wasn't, but it's not like I can't try and help you get through what's happening now that I am here."

"No, Kenz, do you know how much I wish I was you? I would've never seen that face. I would've never had to see what kind of fucked up world we live in, right in the damn living room."

"Luke, don't say that. Just because this happened doesn't mean there isn't good in this world. Bud, if you just tell me what you're feeling then maybe it will help you feel better."

"No it won't! I will never feel better about what happened. Ever!" Tears had begun descending down his cheeks.

"It will, you just have to let it out. Don't hold onto the pain. You have to move forward at some point or another." By this time I was stepping back toward his bed again.

"Stop!" He held his hand up, palm outward. "I just want to be left alone, ok?" I nodded and turned around again. "I am not going to be better until I forget that face." Luke muttered.

I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. The sharp wrap of guilt around my body almost brought me to my knees. Here Luke, my dear little brother, was suffering over _his_ face while I had a hard time not fantasizing about it. What the hell was wrong with me?

"I am so sorry; so sorry I wasn't here when you needed me to be."

"It's better you weren't or I'd probably be alone right now."

"Still, I am sorry." I turned for the final time before walking out his door.

"I love you." I heard him call.

"You too, bud."

I walked through the door to my parent's bedroom and flung it closed. I knew my intentions were, in some degree, well meant but that didn't stop Luke's words from flooding my brain with despair. If he ever found out that I was attempting to get closer to the man who he so longed to forget, he would never forgive me. Than again, if he understood the sole purpose was to kill Darley, he might've reconsidered.

Reaching for the wall charger I'd plugged in behind the bed, I stuck the opposite end in my phone watching the screen light up. The icon at the bottom flashed, reminding me that I'd gotten a voicemail. I hit the send button and listened to the automated voice drone on about my password. I entered it and was greeted by a deep, sexy voice.

"_Hey, uh, it's me, Billy. My boy, Jamie told me it was stupid to be callin you so soon,"_ he chuckled. _"But I figure what the fuck? Might as well, but you not answerin kind of makes me feel like a dumbass. Anyway, I was just wonderin if you wanted to get togetha again soon. Justa,"_ His voice distanced from the phone as he continued. _"Heco, what the fuck is that asshole doin? Tell him to get fuckin lost. Anyway, sorry bout that, just give me a call back at 554-1522. That's my number. So, uh, yea."_ With that I heard a click.

I saved the message to my inbox before hanging up and looking through my missed calls history and selecting his number. I quickly added him to contacts just under 'Billy', figuring no one would suspect who exactly he was. I slid the phone back onto the night stand and set the alarm before plopping down onto the pillows. I was shocked he'd even taken the time to call me back, and the fact that it was so soon didn't help diffuse my excitement. Instead of beating myself up, I decided to chalk the excitement up to my plan falling so easily into place. He was doing part of the work for me.

I wondered at how Luke described his face. When I'd pictured him it was always as more of a brutish, ugly thing. Billy Darley, though he held the appearance of someone who was intimidating, tough, and a real hell raiser – he wasn't what you're typical idea of a murder. Who was I kidding? How do you classify what a murder even looks like in the first place? You couldn't. I thought about how Luke wished he could forget Billy's face while I longed to see it again. There really was something significantly wrong with that.

Although, in my defense, I began to argue with myself but I really had no defense. I'd started the sick game I was playing and then further was falling into my own trap. I had to know that Darley had other intentions besides actually dating me. He had his secrets too. So there was no way he was this sweet, innocent gentleman he was portraying. It was an act. If I thought of it that way it was easier to see him as my target again.

But then when I considered how he'd taken the time to scan every part of my body at lunch today it was hard to see him as someone only playing a game. His eyes had lit up with this hunger I know I'd never seen in a man's eyes before. You hear about looks like that, or read it in romance novels or other shit but, I've never been the one objectified by that hunger to any man I could recall.

I mean sure, there were guys back in Oklahoma that showed mild interest or that I'd even gone out with a couple times but they never, even when I was trying to look my sexiest, ever looked at me the same way Billy had. His eyes had moved with this lazy interest from my toes to my face, with this smirk on his goatee clad face. His expression whispered desire and lust. I, even if that was the first time experiencing it, knew that I really didn't want anyone but him to look at me like that. Oh God, now I sounded like one of those whiney teenage girls who had finally gotten their first boyfriend. Ugh.

I shoved myself over onto my stomach and slid an arm underneath the pillows, pulling it closer to me in the process. I closed my eyes and tried to make my mind go blank. That was a fail, of course because the next thing my mind sprinted towards was how he looked sitting across from me joking and letting me in just a little. He didn't have to tell me the things he had about his family or his friends. That must have been a huge thing to admit, unless he really was as indifferent about them as he'd pretended. Who knew?

I tossed the image of him smiling and laughing over his food with me, and how he'd made the entire room stop spinning whenever I'd be on the brink of a breakdown. His sympathy for my 'grandma' seemed so real it was hard to see him pulling any trigger.

Then there was the memory of his lips on mine. Though he'd been very gentle and hadn't even gone past a few pecks, his full lips were soft, and warm. I licked my lips then just thinking about how a simple kiss had flipped my stomach upside down. The way his hand had caressed my neck as he demanded my face closer to his. How it felt so fitting at the back of my head.

So maybe I still hated him, but in the physical sense I was just as attracted to him as he was to me? No. No. And No. This was not happening this way and it was stopping now.

I was way out of my league. Who was I to think that I could kill him anyway? That was crazy! I couldn't ever get close enough to this man to kill him, let alone have the guts to do it. Maybe I should just pack us up and move. Ask to transfer Dad to a city closer to Oklahoma. Then I'd never have to worry about seeing him again. That could actually work. No, then again it couldn't. Luke would never forgive me for making him pack up and leave his life here. His friends were here. His art was here. His life was worth more to him than that though wasn't it? Who knew at this point? Luke wasn't really telling me what was tossing around in that skull of his. To top all of that off, my father, if he woke up and wasn't convicted for murder, his job was still in this town. I couldn't just force him out. He'd never forgive me either. Plus, to run away like that would only cause more suspicion from the police. That really wasn't my decision to make. I figured the safest thing for now would be to just ignore Billy Darley and move on with life as if he never existed.

I turned over again and grabbed at my phone to delete his number. I would just forget the whole thing. I scrolled through the names and finally stopped at his. My thumb teased the delete option as my mind screamed in protest. You have to do this. But I couldn't! What about Luke?

I closed out of the screen and put the phone back. Luke was my reason. Luke was my justification. Luke living was the reason for Billy dying. Yes, keep that in mind. You are working toward a safer life for your brother.

* * *

The alarm buzzed the next morning and I slapped it quiet. I rolled onto my back and kept my eyes shut. I really didn't want to get up. I'd had all too vivid dreams about Billy the night before that had me waking constantly. A sharp knock on the door had me shooting up in bed. I pulled the sheet upward to cover me even though I still had a tank top on.

"Come in."

"Hey, Kenz. I just wanted to say I uh, I'm sorry for last night."

"What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't have said some of the things I did and I just feel like I should let you know that I felt bad."

"Right, well, it's ok. I mean you were just expressing your feelings and I can't be mad at you for that so don't worry ok?" I held out my arms and he ran into them.

I heard my cell phone buzz from the nightstand but Luke got to it quicker. He looked at the screen.

"You got a text from Jesse." He stated.

"Oh, thanks." I smiled him but it was tight.

"Kay, well I'll see you after school." He said before heading out the door.

I sighed before picking up the phone to read the text.

'_Just got a call bout an abandoned hospital- possible hang out. Stigent street. Let me know what you find. Why the interest in the guy?"_

"_Thanks Jesse. I appreciate it. Just curious about gang lore in the area. No biggie. How do you always get the best info?" _– I sent my reply immediately.

I locked the message and got out of bed heading for the bathroom to get ready for the day.

* * *

By one I had actually made my way over to the hospital to check on my father. He looked so calm in his slumber but the deep incision that had moved onto his forehead was unnerving. No matter how many times I'd tried not to think about how zombie like he looked, the thought continued to visit my brain. His hands were finally showing signs of healing but his chest still leaked blood into his fresh hospital gown. I sighed and grabbed at his hand.

"I know you don't understand what I am saying, and you may never, but I promise I am going to take care of him. Luke, I mean. I know you don't realize he's alive. But he is and I don't know," I sniveled. "I don't know how he is going to move on. I wish you were awake to help me. He's afraid, dad. I can't blame him but I am scared that if I can't help him then he's going to go crazy. Maybe not now, but it will happen. I need…" I gasped for air. "I need you to wake up. I need you to be here to help me. I can't do this alone, but I know that for your sake I have to." I let the tears splash onto his bed as I sobbed over his slowly breathing body. I hugged his from wishing that I could transfer some life into him. "Please!" I cried into his chest. "You have to come back!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see the nurse had come back into the room.

"Ma'am, I am so sorry."

I shrugged her hand off. "Everyone seems to be, but why hasn't he woken up yet? If you all were sorry, why isn't he moving?" The tears continued to streak down my cheeks.

"Honey, his body has to be able to handle the procedures we'd need to do to operate and at this time it's not. You have to understand that we are doing everything that we can to help him. He just has to heal."

I nodded and fled the room. I stomped out to my car and laid my head on the door frame. My body convulsed and shook from the tremors of pain. It was wrong to accuse her, but I couldn't help it. I hated this.

I wiped my eyes before straightening my spine and fishing for me keys to unlock the car. When my fingers found them, I yanked them out of my purse only to drop them onto the pavement.

"Son of a bitch!" I called out.

I bent to pick them up before shoving myself angrily inside. I drove home and went in. I walked around the house unsure of what to do next, since Luke wasn't home and I'd caught up on much of my homework earlier that day.

My cell phone buzzed from the counter and I ran to check it. It was Luke.

"_Hey sis – stayin late 4 help. B back l8r." _

Great, I thought, now I am alone. Then I looked back at my phone. I didn't have to be alone.

I hit the send button after retrieving his number and waited. It rang four times before cutting to voicemail.

"_Hey, you got Billy. You know what to do." _

"Hey, Billy. It's me, McKenzie, just returning your call. I guess it's my turn to feel like the dumbass. So, I wanted to let you know that I will take you up on the offer. Give me a call back." I hung up and slammed the phone onto the counter again.

I guess I was stuck with being alone after all. I waltzed to the fridge to pull out some food but I wasn't up for anything in there. I tapped my foot impatiently and sighed.

I heard my phone buzzing again and reached for it with a little too much anticipation.

It was him.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and hit the talk button.

"Hello," I hoped my voice was normal.

"Ritchie, you have gotta stop lettin that mouth get the best of you."

I laughed. "Is that right?"

"Yup."

"I will keep that in mind."

"Good, so you wanna have dinner with me tonight?"

I paused for a second. I'd have to wait until Luke got home before I left but what would my story be this time? "Yeah that would be fine."

"Alright, maybe a movie?"

I smirked. "Maybe."

"Ok, I get it. Playin hard to get."

"Not in the least."

"Where can I get you at?"

My chest filled. "You still can't."

"Oh c'mon."

"Hey, I gave you my number! That was a huge step for me." I joked.

"If you say so. I am gonna be at Four Roses till bout eight if you wanna meet me there. Since you're so shy bout me actually comin to get ya."

"Sounds good, but uh, where exactly is Four Roses?"

He gave me semi-simple directions that I copied down onto my mom's old grocery pad stuck to the fridge, then we disconnected. I sighed and ripped the paper off to put into my purse. I scoured the cupboards for snacks and settled for a PB&J.

The problem still remained though, I was by myself for who knew how long. I walked into the living room and powered on the TV. I settled for a movie on HBO and found a comfortable position to watch, but it wasn't long till I was unconscious.

* * *

Luke arrived back home and did lord knows what before finally shaking me awake at six thirty.

"Good morning, loser." He said jabbing me in the stomach.

"Who you callin loser?" I said stretching.

"Uh, you." He laughed and I flipped him the bird.

I glanced at the clock, "Did you just get back?"

"Yeah, my friend Justin was helping me catch up on some homework and stuff. Then his mom took us out before dropping me off here. I hope that's cool."

"Oh, yeah, of course. I just am going to go hang out with a couple old friends in a little bit, so I am glad to hear you've already been fed."

"Yep, who with?"

I racked my brain for a name. Any name. "You remember Jennifer and Mark, from my senior year right?"

"Uh, no but that's ok. You have fun." He said plopping down on the loveseat to watch the last half of _Pandorum_.

"I am not leaving till about seven thirty-ish but I guess I should go get ready." I said not moving my body the slightest.

"Yeah, you probably should." His eyes never left the screen

I rolled my eyes and stood up to go get ready. I didn't know exactly what the atmosphere was like at Four Roses but I knew I didn't want to stick out in the wrong ways. I dug through my clothes not finding anything that looked the least bit appealing. I threw the handful of clothes back down, and shook my head.

He'd mentioned it was a bar so I didn't want to be too dressy but at the same time I wanted to wear something that would keep him from looking away from me. I wanted to stand out without looking sorely out of place.

I slid open the doors to my parent's closet for the first time since being home and took in the untouched laundry. I ran my fingers over my father's suits and my moms dresses. I took a quick look at different ones she had hung up before I pulled out a hanger with a plastic bag tied over the top.

I quickly untied the top of it and slid out a single strapped short black dress. My eyes bulged as I took in the almost spandex material. My mom had owned this?

I slid out of my clothes and took the dress with me into the bathroom where I dropped it on the counter and took a quick shower. After I'd dried off and curled my hair, I slid the dress on over my head and watched it form to my body. The single sleeve covered my shoulder all the way down to my wrist and the bodice stretched almost too much across my chest and fit the rest of my body like a glove. The hem of the skirt wrapped around my thighs and a good inch and a half below my ass. It was a little short for my taste but what could I do? I was an inch taller than my mom for years. I turned around in the mirror trying to decide whether the dress looked alright, and figured what the hell. I added a light white and black mix of eye shadow to my eyes and fixed my eyeliner.

Once I was finished I padded back into their closet to find some cute, strappy heels to complete the outfit. Once I'd chosen them I clacked down the stairs to see Luke still caught up in his movie.

His eyes never left the screen as I waltzed on by into the kitchen to grab my purse, keys, and mini list of directions Billy had given me. I called goodbye to Luke and told him to make sure the locks were bolted before he went to bad.

He acknowledged some form of agreement before nodding back to the TV. I closed the door behind me and locked the door.

I drove slowly through unknown downtown streets when I got close, not wanting to miss the bar, that he'd mentioned was tucked in a corner. Once I'd located it I fought to find a parking spot amongst the other tenants. I took in the other outfits being donned and suddenly felt self conscious. Most were in jeans, t-shirts, or much more slutty outfits than mine. Either way, I realized how much I'd failed at my goal of subtlety. I looked at the clock and realized I only had ten minutes to get in there, leaving me no chance to go back and change.

I took in a deep breath of air and let it out slowly before getting out of the car. I shut and locked the door before holding my head high and swishing into the bar.

Upon my entrance, I was greeted with a wide array of looks from lust to jealousy. I scanned the rooms for the only face I knew but was met with more stares from strangers.

I waltzed up to the counter and ordered a water. The bartender chuckled before reaching out to get me a glass. I ignored him and continued my search. When I couldn't see him I decided that he'd have to find me if this was going to work.

As I stood there milking my drink, I noticed that some of the people walking around shared the same tribal tattoos as Billy's.

Another five minutes went by before a man with a buzz cut and baggy jeans sauntered on over his eyes never seeming to move past where the hem of my dress met my legs.

Finally when he finished the scan of my body, spending and ungodly amount of time on my breasts, he looked into my eyes.

"Well, how is someone as sexy as you standing here all by her lonesome."

"I am waiting for someone, actually." I remarked more politely than he deserved.

"Why isn't he here now?"

"Good question."

"I think maybe you should let me take his place, since he doesn't have the courteousy to meet you on time."

"That's very flattering but I don't think that is the best idea. He wouldn't like that very much." I said sliding my eyes from the back of the bar to his face again.

He lifted his shirt ever so slightly revealing a small pistol nestled against his skin. "I don't think you'll have to worry, sweetheart."

I looked from the pistol to him with worry coloring my face. "Again, I appreciate the offer but honestly I don't think that is a wise idea. No need to fight or anything." I said leaning up from the counter and placing a hand on my hip.

His eyes did the whole body scan again and he smirked. "Baby, for someone like you, I'd say it's worth it."

"No, it's really unnecessary."

"What isn't necessary?" A voice said into my ear as a hand slid slowly onto my hip from behind and stayed there.

I watched the man's eyes fill with horror and he took a step back. "Oh nothing, Billy. I was, uh, just leaving."

"Good to know." He remarked as the man stumbled backward and away faster than he'd appeared.

I turned to face him with a smirk on my face. "That's the second time you have saved me from a creeper."

"Yeah, maybe if you'd stop dressin like that, Ritchie, it wouldn't happen."

"I wasn't sure what the whole, attire was for tonight. I figured this would work, honestly." I said sheepishly shrugging.

"I promise not tah hold it against ya." He muttered sniffing. "Wanna get outta here?"

"I would love that actually."

He motioned for me to go first and I strode quickly for the door feeling holes being burned into my back from unknown critics.

I stopped outside the door and waited for Billy to join me. I noticed he'd stopped to talk to a dark skinned man in a black leather jacket and a black beanie. The man eyed me skeptically a couple times causing me to pull the bottom of my dress down. He faced Billy again with an angry expression. I patted my hair to make sure it was in place and ran my fingers underneath my eyes, checking to see it my eyeliner may have been running.

Billy moved closer to his face and began talking through his teeth as the man cringed and backed down slowly.

When Billy turned to face me again I looked away not wanting to seem more like a snoop than I already did.

Billy was at my side moments later slugging an arm around my shoulders and was steering me toward the black hatchback. He opened the door for me before heading to his, not bothering to close mine. I smiled, hey it was better than nothing.

"So, Ritchie, what are ya in the mood for?" He asked peeling out of the parking lot.


	4. Is this just a game?

Thank you so much for those of you who continue to follow this story. It means the world to me. If you have an ideas on directions or things going on feel free to let me know. Any little imput helps.

As always, ENJOY! :)

Review! :)

* * *

We decided to try out a little Mexican joint that stood as an outlier to the town. I had never heard of the place but he seemed adamant about trying it and judging by the location I figured we'd be safe from any of my friends and certainly we were far enough away from his crew. I wasn't sure but after the exchange between Billy and the other man I was starting to realize how much they must have disliked me.

On the other hand once I got of dose of Billy's insane driving, I begun to wish we'd stayed closer to the bar. I am pretty positive that I would've dealt better with the disapproving looks of his people.

Billy slammed hard on the brakes as he approached a stop sign and I felt the car skid as the putrid scent of burnt rubber made its way up my nose and it soaked into my lungs.

He glanced over at me, who I am sure looked like a scared little church mouse with one hand white knuckling the handle next to the window, and the other on the dashboard attempting to stop my weight from being flung forward complete with my feet dug into the floor boards. Billy chuckled and swiveled in his seat to get a better look at me.

"Nervous?" His devilish grin spreading wide.

"Not in the least." I lied placing my hands in my lap, trying to measure my breaths to match a normal pace.

He laughed before stomping the pedal down, shooting us away from the intersection.

When we arrived, I refused to let him open the door for me. I was out less than a second after he came to a full stop. My feet needed to find stable ground. If no one had been around, I wouldn't have surprised myself if I'd kissed said steady ground.

I waltzed up next to Billy at the hood and he slung his arm around my shoulders, as if stamping his seal on my body. For at that moment I was his property – his arm was just a personification of that possession to anyone looking. On the one hand, I didn't mind, but on the other my skin was crawling at his proximity and I wanted so badly to shrug it off.

We walked up to the doors and they were held open by a man in uniform who simply nodded.

"Mr. Darley."

He smirked back but said nothing more.

We were seated in seconds of our arrival in a booth with a view of the main dining area. There was a wall to my far left that separated us from the bar. I eyed him skeptically.

"What?" He demanded a child's light in his eyes.

"This is the second place we've been to where the workers seem to know exactly who you are." I noted.

"Yeah, so?"

"I was just wondering again."

He cut me off, "About how many women I take here?"

"Yeah," I folded hand underneath my chin.

"Don't worry about that. You're the one here this time and since we have no where to go but forward why think about the past?" His smile was almost a contradiction to the action. It did not meet his eyes, and there was almost an angry inflection in it.

"Wow, that was really insightful, Billy. You come up with that on your own?" I asked my annoyance flaring due to his attitude.

He raised his eyes to meet mine, they were hard. "I can be insightful if I please. Look, Ritchie, just cause you are the big 'ol college student doesn't make me some ignorant piece of shit from the slums. It takes a lot to do the shit I do."

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked leaning forward a little.

"No."

I raised a brow but decided to keep my mouth shut. I pulled the menu up hiding my face so I could roll my eyes. Jerk couldn't even be straight with me. Had I really expected him to though?

"It's more business related. I can't really explain." He finally admitted.

I dropped the menu to the table in order to see his face again. Billy's eyes had gone droopy and he looked very tired suddenly.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No, I am not in the mood. It's just shit. You don't wanna hear bout it. Not really table talk." His tone was bitter.

"Ok, so here is a question for you, if it is such a stressful _business_ that causes you to lash at completely uncalled for moments, why stay involved?"

Billy looked at me as it I'd just grown little green antennas. "You're jokin right?"

"No, I don't understand how things work where you're from, Billy. I mean if you want to explain it to me that is fine, and if not then I'll pretend to just get it. But I am only asking because maybe you could get out, and make a real nice name for yourself." One that didn't come with the reputation for violence and crime.

He nodded. "I can't explain it to you. You'd have to see it to understand. When you grow up with a dick for a dad, who'd rather sell you for pay till you were old enough to fight back, you don't have much of a choice. Even after you can step up, you are still his property. It's follow the way it goes in the street or don't live there. There is a code that everyone understands and fuckin with that code puts you six feet under. Then there's your crew to think about. Someone like you would never understand that, unless forced out where I run. Anyone who tries usually ends up stepping on the wrong toes."

Our waiter took our drink orders before he continued.

"You can't just ditch out whenever the fuck you feel like it. You're supposed to deal with the cards you're dealt. I don't know anything else."

"So, you were forced to do what exactly?" I asked, his plight pricking my heart. "Did your dad sell you to people for, um, prostitution?"

He laughed. "No, not prostitution."

Never mind.

"Though what I'd do was not far of a step up. I had to do dirty work for my dad or any of his fucked up pals. You know smuggle in the drugs some place or make a hit when no one else could cause they'd be picked up too easy. I'd be the alibi, the one to clean shit up, or whatever. I was their little fucking gopher. Shit like that, or worse." He shrugged.

I sat there for a second, soaking in the information. "You're shitting me?"

"Nope. I thought we talked about that mouth?" He grinned.

That did nothing to distract my chain of thought.

"What… why… how could a father do that to his son?"

"I don't know. He just did. Heartless assholes are good at that." As Billy spoke, his voice became flat and distant.

"So, he or I guess they made you, um, kill people?"

He nodded stiffly once.

I took in a deep breath. The information was nothing new but for him to be so open with it was unnerving. I mean sure, in the articles I'd found there was mention of his killings. Shit, my family bared the brunt of his cruelty, but here he was explaining it as if he were talking about a normal day at the office. To be that far gone, that killing was a second nature, probably made him the scariest person I'd ever come into contact with. Though, I guess that shouldn't have been news to me either.

"How old were you when you first…"

"Twelve or so. I mean they had to make sure I could handle a gun without shooting my damn self first."

I felt my jaw drop down. His head cocked to the side as if he was confused.

"That is…" I searched for a word but could grasp nothing that was fitting.

"Fucked up?" He offered.

"Yeah," I shook my head.

"Nah, shit like that builds character. I got used to it."

I tried to decipher if maybe he was joking again, but I found no traces of anything but blunt honesty.

"Why are you telling me all this? I mean…" I didn't know how to recover from that one. In fact I hadn't wanted to ask it aloud in the first place but now it was out there.

We placed our orders quickly when the waiter returned with our beverages.

"I am not going to lie to you. I mean that like if you have any grand illusions about who I am or somethin, you'd be wrong. No one can change my past or who I am cause of it."

"But you could still change your future. Get out while you can and do something more with yourself. I find it hard to believe that you just lay down and do what some asshole just tells you to do. I mean, from what I've seen, you are a pretty dominating force, why fall in line?

"I don't choose to fall in line. I just make sure that my ass is covered. I've got all the backin I need. I got all the money I need. I don't leave, I don't end up dead. I don't leave, my boys know that there is someone that gives a shit about them."

I nodded. "They couldn't get out either?"

"Not the way it works."

"Wow, you're right. I don't think I will ever really understand that. If it were me, I think I'd do anything to get away."

"Nah you don't know what you'd do till it happened to you. Loyalty is a big thing. Ditchin wouldn't end so well for you."

"I guess. I am sorry to have brought all that up. I… you didn't have to tell me all that."

He nodded then shrugged. "Like I said, better to understand now that whatcha see is whatcha get. If you don't like that, you know where the door is."

I sat back in my seat. "I have never judged you, so you don't need to get so defensive."

"I don't know, Ritchie, sometimes I wonder."

"Why's that?"

"I swear, it's like sometimes you get this wild look in your eye, like you are lookin down on me. That you're better than people. I don't like that."

So he had noticed my internal conflicts with my emotions. Shit.

"So then why did you want to take me here? Why see me again?" I demanded.

"I don't know." He rubbed a hand over his head. "I want to. I don't know, there's more to me that meets the damn eye and just cause I am from the street doesn't mean I can't be with someone who is high class."

"I told you that I was taught that since I was little. There is always more to someone. " I offered.

"That doesn't mean that you believe it."

"You wouldn't know shit about what I believe, Billy."

He frowned.

"And anyway, two seconds you said that what you see is what you get and now you are this deeper person? What am I supposed to make of that?"

Before he could answer I held up a finger.

"No, that doesn't even matter. Let me tell you something about what I believe. It has to do with heart. What you are in this life cannot be summed up in just some damn appearance or where someone is from. It has to do with what you do and how genuine you are about doing it. It doesn't matter if you are from the slums or the biggest mansion in Beverly Hills. I am sure there is more than meets the eye with you, so you don't have to prove anything to me, Billy. That's how I think. If that's all we are really here for then we might as well stop wasting our damn time." Of course, since his actions consisted of murder, drug abuse, and sexing up whoever he didn't really have much more I thought I needed to know.

"I never said that it was to prove you wrong." Billy said leaning forward.

"Then what, it's to prove it to yourself?"

"No."

"Then who?"

He refused to meet my eyes.

For a second I was able to take a glimpse into his mind without his aid. I knew what his angle was. He was playing me up almost as much as I was trying to play him.

"Oh, I see."

His eyes flicked to mine.

"Do you?"

"Pretty sure." I pursed my lips angrily. "I am such a damn fool."

"How's that?"

"How long did you think it would take me to figure that I am just some show doll to you?"

"I didn't say you was a damn show doll."

"Really? So if you aren't trying to prove to me that you are 'something more'" The sarcasm in my voice was heavy. "And not to yourself, then that leaves other people as your targets. You are just using me to make yourself look better."

"That's not it."

I crossed my legs at the knee and leaned sideways into the chair. My foot began shaking wildly as my temper increasingly got hotter. "You know, I can't believe I didn't realize it from the start. Normally, I would have. I figured I'd give you the benefit of the doubt, but I should have fucking known you weren't in it to actually get to know me. I mean, shit, it should have been obvious when you haven't even really made a pass on me."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Billy, let's face it. You aren't known for your charming long term relationships. When a girl wants to get with you, and you allow it, it's to get one thing. You, I am sure, don't usually allow something to go beyond, what, a one night stand? So you actually taking me out twice now? And you haven't even implied that you want to have sex with me at least once? Call me crazy, but with a man that upholds the reputation you have, there is something wrong with that fact. There has got to be some ulterior motive behind that, and it would be ridiculous of me to think that it was you actually wanting something more with me. So I am left with one conclusion."

Shit, I was such a hypocrite.

"You think I'm usin you?"

"Right on, Billy Boy."

"Don't call me that."

"What, you call me Ritchie? Further proof, I'd say, that you don't see us on the same level. Am I not allowed to have my own nickname for you?"

"I don't see us on the same level. That what you want to hear?" He barked.

The waiter approached slowly as if debating whether or not he should proceed. He set our food down on a make shift stand and put our plates in front of us, and scurried away without so much as a word.

"Well, yeah because it proves my point."

"Does it? Cause maybe I see you as a challenge. Maybe I wanna see if you will actually give me the chance. Ever think of that?"

I paused, my fork half way to my mouth and frowned. "The infamous Billy Darley feigning insecurity? I don't believe it for one second. This is just a joke to you. C'mon, just admit it already."

He took a bite and chewed, scanning my face. "You believe you're right, don't you?" He asked after swallowing.

"Makes the most sense to me. If there was one thing I have learned from all my law training is to look at the big picture and use the evidence to put together your conclusion and well that is what I have arrived at." My foot shook violently.

His eyebrows knit tighter together. He leaned downward his hand hidden under the table cloth, but after a moment I felt his large hand seize my heeled foot. He gently squeezed, but still with enough pressure to get my attention.

"Stop it."

I met his eyes, surprised.

His thumb slid over my ankle bone and up my smooth leg just a little. My head cocked to the side. He released me and leaned back upright.

"Your evidence is still lackin." He said, his eyes flashing with glee.

"How so?"

"You don't know what my motives are. You can't decide you do just because of one conversation. We are on different levels, but that doesn't mean I don't find you," he paused stroking his small beard, "fascinating."

I sat back again. "That's a big word for you," I finally smiled.

"And you don't judge?" He laughed.

"Never."

We ate in a comfortable silence with an almost new understanding of the other. He now knew that I didn't think of him as a murderous scumbag, even if that were the farthest thing from the truth, and I'd learned too much to digress at that moment. I'd have to save it for later tonight, but it was hard to keep my mind in check.

To combat my raging thoughts I focused on my meal with more concentration than was humanly necessary.

"McKenzie?"

I glanced up, realizing that I'd never really heard my name from his mouth. I raised my brows in answer since I was still chewing a bite of enchilada.

"You are on a different level than I am, but that doesn't mean that I don't like ya. It just means we got a lot to figure out."

"And you are saying that you are willing to take time to do that?" I asked, my tone skeptical

"I'm still decidin, but I think I might be."

"That's something, I guess."

He nodded before shoveling up another bite.

"Tell me something, honestly."

"What?"

"Is that the only reason you told me?"

"Told you?"

"About what you do, or have done?"

"Sorta. I want you to know the truth because if you can't handle it you have your out. I wanted to see if you'd run for the door. I don't want you thinking I'm just gonna quit how I live for a girl. It don't work that way. That, and I ein't gonna pretend to be somethin I'm not just to impress you."

I paused. "I can't say I'm ok with, the you know."

In fact, I was more disgusted with him now then I was when I woke up that morning, a feat I thought was impossible. His heart was so corroded that there was no possible way that I could get any closer to the man without his allowing it. That, I thought, was the hidden meaning behind his openness. He was warning me.

"But you didn't run for the door." He added a lazy smile finding its way to his face.

I faked a playful one back. "No, I didn't."

The rest of the dinner composed of him telling me little bits about his friends. He refused to go into much detail about them; surely he was just trying to protect them. Billy explained who stood where in the chain of command had he ever had to leave. I listened to him taking as many mental notes as I could, hoping that the information would someday be useful, but with as vague as he was it was hard to determine if there would ever be anything to use.

After he paid we made our way back to the car holding hands. It was awkward at first, when he slipped his fingers through mine. Mostly because I hadn't expected a man like to be so casual and almost typical for a suitor. But as we fell into step with each other and my hand finally relaxed into his, it became more comfortable. His hand was probably two times the size of mine but it wasn't rough and calloused as I had imagined it to be. It wasn't exactly soft either though. He'd somehow had this odd in between that didn't deter from his bad boy image, but gave him a slight romantic feel to his touch.

We reached the car and I looked uneasily at it. It was a beautiful machine, but I could see her days coming to a faster end than necessary due to the maniacal manner in which she was driven.

"Still scared?" Billy asked turning to me.

"Can you blame me?"

"Yeah, most people have fun with me when I drive."

"Is that because they know if they tell you otherwise they are stuck walking everywhere?"

He chuckled. "You think I could be that cruel?"

Yes, without a doubt.

"I think if someone pushed your buttons the wrong way it surely could be possible."

"So which are you more afraid of, my driving or having to walk back across town to get to your car?"

I didn't miss a beat. "Your driving. I could call a cab if I really wanted."

"Fine. Do you want to drive us back?"

"Yes!" I squirmed with excitement. Who wouldn't want to drive the beauty?

"Too bad." He smiled opening the passenger side door.

"Jerk," I mumbled with a smirk as I slid inside.

As he pulled out of parking lot I could feel the sarcasm oozing out of him. He took turns slower than most grandparents and stopped about five feet from the line at an intersection. He obeyed the traffic laws and stuck to five miles underneath the speed limit most of the drive.

"Are you kidding?" I asked finally at a stop light.

His smile was a mile long. "What? First I am too extreme for you and now this isn't fast enough? You are gonna give me a complex, Rich."

"I just said you were insane the first time, but that didn't mean turn into an old man."

He grinned and pushed down the pedal as the light flashed green.

Back at the bar the lot looked no less empty then it had when we'd left. He pulled into an open space near the front that I guessed was secretly marked as belonging to him.

"I guess I should get going." I said not moving an inch closer to the door handle.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to waste anymore time." He smiled.

"Billy, it's," I clicked the side button on my phone to check the time, "almost eleven thirty. I really should be getting back home. It's not you."

"Right, right. You're visiting family might be gettin worried."

"Yeah, I was lucky to get out tonight." I said.

"Uh, huh. Goodnight then."

I stared at his still form wondering if he was going to push the subject more but when he didn't I gave up. There was no sign that he wanted much more interaction tonight, and I wasn't sure which I felt wash over me more violently. Relief, or disappointment.

I pushed open the door and fished my keys out from my purse as I stepped into the night. I shivered a little wishing I'd thought to bring a jacket to cover the thin material I was wearing. I wondered idly why I hadn't noticed before.

I hung my shoulders a tad as I walked to my car, realizing that I really had been more disappointed. I wished he'd have made some move. That put a serious damper in my confidence. Maybe I had been imagining how he'd checked me out the day before. My muscles began aching as the cold seeped further into my bones and I picked up my pace across the lot to the warmth and security of my Mazda.

I hit the unlock button as I got closer ready to throw myself inside when I was forced to turn around. His grip on my arm was light, but sturdy enough to show he meant business. Billy's firm chest backed me up against my car and I looked up at him, with I am sure too much excitement.

"Yes?" I asked, my smile creeping across my face.

He didn't say anything but leaned down to place a kiss firmly on my lips. He kept it light but as he was going to pull away I refused to let him go. I laced my fingers around his neck and tried to pull him closer again. I melded my body against his and allowed my mouth to become more urgent on his. I half expected him to push me off, but then he seemed to allow himself to let go. His lips parted and his tongue met mine halfway.

Before I even realized it, the kiss went from light and playful to hungry and desperate. I clung to him as he pulled my tighter against him. His mouth devoured mine, our tongues mixing together.

After a moment we both pulled away, to look into the other's eyes.

"Damn, Ritchie," he panted.

I smiled still trying to catch my breath as well.

His hands slid down my back, to my hips, before reaching my ass. I took his hands and slid them back to my hips.

"Oh, no fun." He complained.

"I am not that kind of girl." I murmured with a smile.

"Oh yeah? Then how come at dinner you complained bout me not makin a move on you?"

"Because guys like you don't usually have restraint and you had so much with me I was starting to doubt you were even attracted to me." I said honestly.

"Do you know how much effort that took?"

"No," I answered honestly.

"You think I didn't want to touch you? Please. I knew the moment I did I'd be toast." He laughed.

"I don't believe that for one second."

"Fine, don't believe it. I don't care. I knew you'd run for the hills if you only thought I was after your body." He said, taking a step back to eye me. "Though this dress did nothing to help your cause."

I chuckled. "It really wasn't supposed to." I smiled triumphantly.

He licked his lips.

I leaned up to plant my mouth against his one more time.

"I really have to go," I said against it.

"Right." He kissed me again before pulling back and walking back towards the bar.

I sighed and leaned heavily against my car and watched his strut and I couldn't help but smile to myself. It was kind of cute.

He turned around then, "Stop staring, it's not polite." He called before continuing.

I laughed and pulled the door open.

Once inside I realized that I was no longer as cold.

Arriving back at the house, I jumped out of the car and ran in to check on Luke, only to find him still camped out in front of the TV with a bag of gummy bears.

"What are you doing up?" I demanded hands on hips.

"Oh, uh…" He stuttered, startled by my unexpected approach.

"You are supposed to be in bed no later than eleven. I thought we agreed." I tried to keep the anger believeable. Honestly, I was in too damn good of a mood to be mad. This, my logical half argued, was not a good thing.

"We did; I just lost track of time and yeah…" He said clicking the TV off. "Sorry."

"It's ok, but c'mon. It's bed time." I said ushering him towards the stairs. He scurried up them and into his room.

"Did you have fun?" He called from his room to mine.

I shuffled out of the dress and shucked the heels in exchange for sweats and a t-shirt.

"I did, yeah." I said grinning like a fool.

"Sweet, well goodnight."

I looked into the hallway to see his light shut off. I closed the door and crawled into bed after plugging my phone into the charger.

I took a deep breath. It was time to digress everything I'd learned and I wasn't sure how much I really wanted to. I knew that the moment he explained his being forced to kill that there was a new light to see him in. Maybe the fact that he was a monster wasn't all his fault? I swallowed.

But, that was his excuse for when he was younger. What about now? Now, he chose to kill of his own accord. So, even if I felt for him when he was younger, and everything he'd gone through – knowing full well he was vague with his childhood, and there was surely more he hadn't told me – I still couldn't excuse the fact that he could control himself now.

He had mentioned that his father, whom I am assuming is the 'Bones' I'd read about before, still owned him. Did that make my family's death his fault? After all, the other Darley was his son too. No, Billy still is the one who pulled that trigger. Luke had said so himself.

I forgot about the conversation for a moment and thought back to the aggressive kiss in the lot. If I thought his peck from before was one stop short of amazing that did nothing to ease the tension this one had caused. He was after all much more experienced than I was. But I had still gotten to him. Or so he said.

That reminded me of the little truth I'd discovered, instantly crushing my euphoria. Though he denied it, I still could see it being very plausible for him to be using me.

If this were a poker game, I figured we were only allowing the other to see what we deemed necessary to be seen. That thought excited, yet scared the absolute shit out of me.

He had opened up his world to me tonight, to allow me to see where he was in life. He claimed it was because he wanted me to know the truth about him, but how was I supposed to know it was true. I had to walk on blind faith that he was truly allowing me close to him, though it seemed a tad rushed. What if he was actually starting to care about me?

Impossible.

My jumbled thoughts kept jumping from subject to subject like that for another hour or so trying to over analyze and piece together the whole night so it would make perfect sense to me. By the time I finally rolled over, I was no closer to reaching that goal than I'd been when I'd first started.


End file.
